Today is Thanksgiving, WE SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY! (venting)

I saw a meme that said “once the glue of the family passes away, holidays aren’t the same.” – I have to agree. Today is thanksgiving. I’ve cried , to myself for 4 days straight. Things are just different. That happy feeling , it’s gone … seems to be just another day. I’m really struggling with mourning. That breaking point, the kicking , screaming , cussin, ugly ass slave cry , It should be something you experience right away , I haven’t broke yet . I have my moments , tears roll down my cheeks, I wipe them , and I go on but I know there’s more that needs to be released. I need to fucking scream! Why am I holding it in? Why so much confusion and anger when I know that life and this world is just our temporary home ? Why am I so hurt and not relieved that she is in a much better place, like everyone else ? I just want today to go as quickly as possible, if it were up to me I wouldn’t get out of bed at all…. don’t see a reason to…Just not the same . xx

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